Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Best gay quarterback controversy continues
Outsports.com news Service
A week of tumultuous smack talk found its way onto the mud covered Francis Field this Sunday. The incendiary comments by self-proclaimed "Best Gay Quarterback" Allscott fueled a controversy pitting Allscott's Dark team against Dan Cipullo's White team. The stakes were upped further with Dan proclaiming himself "the straightest man out here today."

Before the game, Allscott seemed to back away from earlier comments stating, "past comments do not predict future results."

Under sunny skies and a beautiful 50 degree fall day and over a mud soaked field the teams battled. Allscott fighting against Dan's criticism of his receiving skills, went down to his knees to make a beautiful diving grab early in the games. Tony Stewart moved the Dark team with stunning efficiency despite missing curfew the night before. Stewart, who some consider to be the best closeted gay quarterback, picked away at White's defense, frustrating them once even r throwing the same play to Kenneth four times in a row.

Trainwreck attempted to put himself back into the conversation of best gay quarterback, but quickly moved himself out throwing an early interception to Adam "the breeder" Strasberg.

The game came close to overshadowing the growing controversy, but a reinvigorated Allscott refused to let the controversy die, proclaiming about Dan Cipullo, "He's stealing my dick and dink offense." He back up his words with deeds throwing for a touchdown despite not taking a snap.

The second game did not come without its own controversy despite or maybe because of Allscott's absence. Dark took an early lead against Tony Stewart's White team. Early quarterbacking by Tom "Madonna" (who's highlight was a lame duck interception to "The Breeder") failed to move the White Team very far.

Adam Strasberg's pissy reaction to being run down by Milo showed he could be just as pissy as any queen.

Dan Cipullo answered Allscott's criticisms in this wide open 6 on 6 game -- hitting quick outs and slants moving his team down field like a true gay quarterback. While Trainwreck tried to redeem his earlier performance.

With the calls for Tony Stewart echoing across the field, the hung-over QB tried to lead his team back, calling his shot -- a one-play, I'm going to score on this one, throw and touchdown. Still, the question that hung over the field as Dark won easily 24-8, was can Tony win without Allscott?

DC Monuments Adam Strasberg contributed to this report along with Outsports.com news service.


Anonymous said...

The actual AlScott quote - unprompted - was, "I see Dan stole my dink and dunk offense."

Pissed that Tony wouldn't let him take the last drive in order to claim victory, AlScott left in a harumphf.

Will AlScott return? Will he be given the ball for an entire game? Will he be given the best players that show up that day? And finally, is he still able to win given the aforementioned?!

Stay tuned for, "As the Monunments Mount..."

Jim Buzinski said...

Hey, this is Jim (QB from LA) and I just saw the blog. Great minds think alike since we have one just like it out here:


We only wish DC and LA were a lot closer since we'd love to play you guys (DC and Boston are my faves!).